Monday, October 18, 2010
You Should See the Other Guy - He Got Shot
We were in a car and we hit a deer. It went at least ten feet in the air and flew two lanes over. The cops shot it when they got there. It was sad.
Thank goodness for full coverage auto insurance! Ha cha!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Conflicting Roles
We are all several different people.
There's a lot of philosophical ways to delve into this, such as, are we the same person we were before because we have those past experiences or are we a different person who has the same experiences and more? Alas, this is a blog, not my 11:00 AM Monday-Wednesday class. So we'll be discussing this in a more practical manner.
I am a musician. I am a student. I am an employee. I am a friend. I am a boyfriend. I am a son. I am a brother. I am a grandson, nephew, cousin, classmate, acquaintance, rival, enemy, stranger, depending on who I'm interacting with, where I'm interacting, and what I'm doing. We're all like this. We're still "us," but we aren't the same "us" sitting in class as we are sitting at the family dinner table. We're different when we're at work than we are in our lover's arms, it's just how it works.
We all at least sort of understand and accept this, but sometimes it's not that easy. Sometimes these things are at odds, and then things get a little more complicated.
On my first day of PSY 252 this year, my band had the opportunity to play a show for a band that was touring the country. It's important to be there for the first day of school, especially for a higher level class, and especially especially for a higher level class that only meets once a week, but then again, I can open up for a really good band at a well-known venue.
So what did I do?
I sent my professor an email telling her, "Sorry, but my band is opening up for this pretty big band, I'll see you next week."
In this situation, my professor responded with a very kind, "This sounds like a great opportunity, good luck!" However, that's not always the case, and it's beside the point.
The point is that I was given a situation where I had to choose who I was. Was I a musician or was I a student?
For me it was easy. Music has always been more than a hobby to me; I couldn't stop if I wanted to. Something in me makes me feel like making music is the only option I have.
But how long can that go on? How long can I put dreams in front of practical life decisions? How long can I put crazy road trips, all-nighters, and extravagant romantic getaways in front of my obligation to be a functional member of society?
And that's a scary thing to think about. It always feels like it's only a matter of time until I'll be like everything I didn't want to be; until I'm waking up to work a nine to five I don't give two shits about to raise a family and be safe and cautious and a productive member of society for no other reason than because I'm supposed to; until I spend every second of my life preparing for the next second, when I'll prepare for the next, when I'll prepare for the next, and so on and so forth until the next second is death.
So fuck that. No longer am I a musician or a student. No longer am I your classmate, your friend, your acquaintance. From now on I am your Jordan Berry. I play music, I attend a university, I share a class with you, I support you and confide in you, I recognize you, but I am no longer anything but myself.
And not in the lame, cliche way either. This isn't about "being yourself." This is about being. Just being. We're told from the second we're squeezed out of a womb who we are supposed to be, what we are supposed to do, and we're never told that the most important thing to be is us, the most important thing to do is to do.
I love learning, I love writing, and I love the idea of being a teacher, but the moments in my life when I am truly happy are the moments spent having late night conversations in diners with my best friends, swimming in lakes in the middle of the night, staying up all night drinking coffee, playing music and seeing music, cuddling that certain someone and forgetting everything else, watching movies, going on adventures, and helping others feel as good as I do when I feel like that.
And that's what's important to be. Fuck being a student, fuck being a musician, fuck being an employee. Be a fucking human being.
There's a lot of philosophical ways to delve into this, such as, are we the same person we were before because we have those past experiences or are we a different person who has the same experiences and more? Alas, this is a blog, not my 11:00 AM Monday-Wednesday class. So we'll be discussing this in a more practical manner.
I am a musician. I am a student. I am an employee. I am a friend. I am a boyfriend. I am a son. I am a brother. I am a grandson, nephew, cousin, classmate, acquaintance, rival, enemy, stranger, depending on who I'm interacting with, where I'm interacting, and what I'm doing. We're all like this. We're still "us," but we aren't the same "us" sitting in class as we are sitting at the family dinner table. We're different when we're at work than we are in our lover's arms, it's just how it works.
We all at least sort of understand and accept this, but sometimes it's not that easy. Sometimes these things are at odds, and then things get a little more complicated.
On my first day of PSY 252 this year, my band had the opportunity to play a show for a band that was touring the country. It's important to be there for the first day of school, especially for a higher level class, and especially especially for a higher level class that only meets once a week, but then again, I can open up for a really good band at a well-known venue.
So what did I do?
I sent my professor an email telling her, "Sorry, but my band is opening up for this pretty big band, I'll see you next week."
In this situation, my professor responded with a very kind, "This sounds like a great opportunity, good luck!" However, that's not always the case, and it's beside the point.
The point is that I was given a situation where I had to choose who I was. Was I a musician or was I a student?
For me it was easy. Music has always been more than a hobby to me; I couldn't stop if I wanted to. Something in me makes me feel like making music is the only option I have.
But how long can that go on? How long can I put dreams in front of practical life decisions? How long can I put crazy road trips, all-nighters, and extravagant romantic getaways in front of my obligation to be a functional member of society?
And that's a scary thing to think about. It always feels like it's only a matter of time until I'll be like everything I didn't want to be; until I'm waking up to work a nine to five I don't give two shits about to raise a family and be safe and cautious and a productive member of society for no other reason than because I'm supposed to; until I spend every second of my life preparing for the next second, when I'll prepare for the next, when I'll prepare for the next, and so on and so forth until the next second is death.
So fuck that. No longer am I a musician or a student. No longer am I your classmate, your friend, your acquaintance. From now on I am your Jordan Berry. I play music, I attend a university, I share a class with you, I support you and confide in you, I recognize you, but I am no longer anything but myself.
And not in the lame, cliche way either. This isn't about "being yourself." This is about being. Just being. We're told from the second we're squeezed out of a womb who we are supposed to be, what we are supposed to do, and we're never told that the most important thing to be is us, the most important thing to do is to do.
I love learning, I love writing, and I love the idea of being a teacher, but the moments in my life when I am truly happy are the moments spent having late night conversations in diners with my best friends, swimming in lakes in the middle of the night, staying up all night drinking coffee, playing music and seeing music, cuddling that certain someone and forgetting everything else, watching movies, going on adventures, and helping others feel as good as I do when I feel like that.
And that's what's important to be. Fuck being a student, fuck being a musician, fuck being an employee. Be a fucking human being.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
New DEMO - Caribbean Night at the Jew Frat
This is a brand new demo of a new song (you may have to right click the 'play' button for it to start). Remember, though, it's only a demo, so be a little easy on the judgment. This demo features yours truly, Jordan Berry, playing every instrument, so it's not nearly as good as it would be if we were playing it as a band, and it's also recorded on really low quality equipment. But it's a good demo for what it is, so I figured I'd share it. The lyrics are below, follow along! Let me know what you think of the lyrics, the song, etc.
Also, we'll be doing full-band, actually good recordings during the next few weeks, so reserve your judgment until then!
Caribbean Night at the Jew Frat
I don't smoke because if I did
I would smoke GBCs or Marlboro Reds
Because you'll die from any kind of cigarette
But I'd make sure I felt like it
I would smoke my lungs black
I'd smoke holes in my neck
I would smoke until my chest was filled with fire
I'd smoke my skin dry and cracked
Break at every bend and stretch
I would smoke until my body grew too tired
I don't drink because if I did
I would drink myself into oblivion
I would pickle my liver in gin
I would fall back down, never get up again
I would puke up my life
Flush it straight down the pipes
Out of sight, out of mind
I would marinate my organs
Filled up and drained again
I would be the epitome of a vessel poorly designed
I don't trust me with me
I don't trust me with anything
I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy on a road to self annihilation
Through public acts of humiliation for the sake of entertainment
I don't trust me with me
I don't trust me with anything
I don't fall in love because if I did
I don't think I could handle it
I have to try so hard when we kiss
Because I can feel myself slipping in
With every conversation, with every vacation
I'm slow-motion stumbling in
Against my better judgment, I'm starting to let go of it
I'm letting that if turn into a did
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
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